Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
