i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
