Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
