We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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