He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
