Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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