THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Randomize
