this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
