you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
