This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
