So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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