guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
