Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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