i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Small penises have feelings too.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we're making bets on your personal life
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
