1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
