i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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