Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
