Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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