I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
