Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
