pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
