You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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