My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
porn star boner night. come get it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
