Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
