You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
