the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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