Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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