he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
