She's JV to your varsity
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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