I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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