i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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