does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
