Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
