Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
