so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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