He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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