i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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