I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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