Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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