So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
