All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
