So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
