what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I look better un-naked...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
