I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Can you bring me the toilet please
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
