Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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