i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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