another moral hangover. fuck.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
