um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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