remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
