people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I need to calm my uterus...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
